One thing any Londoner (or people who have been in the city long enough to no longer be classified as tourists) loathe beyond anything else is transport obstruction. Yes, you may say the nature of London transport lends itself naturally to the glut of humanity and obstruction occurring. But everything has a particular flow, that when adhered to, ensures you avoid the rapid eye movement and passive aggressive glares in your general direction from fellow commuters.
Fortunately for you the natural state of London is severe
repression. It will be rare anyone will actually say anything to you; rather
they will shoot you death stares, mutter, occasionally shove, but most often
wait to get in Wi-Fi range and have a furious rant about tube idiots on their
chosen social media platform.
Don’t stand in the way of any small spaces when people are
sardined. This is London- we may not look you in the eye, but we sure as hell
will squish up against you on the commute. Any space is fair game, and
expecting any personal space is just a mad dream.
Don’t walk on the pathway and then stop suddenly, unless you
wish to be railroaded by someone who is bound to be walking only inches behind
you. A 3 person pile up is not pretty, and will certainly result some barely
audible profanity utterance.
On that note, any dawdling along the footpath when commuters
have the ‘London stomp’ on will be likely to illicit those stares we mentioned
earlier. An icy aggression that will chill you to the bone and best avoided. Your
languid rambling and tourist gazing at everything is enough to drive one to
wild maniacal twittering!
In the end most of us are usually irrationally pissed off
about going to work anyway and we appreciate avoidance of inciting your fellow
commuters to transport rage, or any form of homicide that may ensue. Albeit
imaginary. You have been warned.
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